Friendship Goals: How to choose your friends wisely

‘People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely’

Hans F Hansen

I had an amazing opportunity for promotion during my university years and my mentor realised that there were too many people or so-called ‘friends’ in the way of my promotion. I was in total denial and I didn’t want to end up friendless.

I eventually saw the writing on the wall and I slowly planned my escape. I had clingy friends who held on to me like leeches. (not jokes). So for me, it was more like a grand escape kind of scheme rather than ‘you’re fired’ kind of scenario. In hindsight, I am just glad I got out while I still could.

Now, it may seem like I was the type to let anybody in my circle. Well, you are completely correct. Anyone who seemed nice enough and not self-centred or proud was my idea of true friendship. I didn’t make many friends growing up as my upbringing was a little strict. My siblings and I were always cautioned and advised to pick sensible friends (boring kind of friends). At least some of us listened and that’s how I never really carried friends along.

Learning how to distinguish from the good, the bad and the ugly was a learning curve. Unfortunately, the experience was rather traumatic and I must admit that I learnt my lesson the hard way – TRIAL AND ERROR.

I carefully made a list of things to consider in your true friendship

  • Consider your character, values and principles – what do you value most about yourself which you would also appreciate in others
  • Find what a potential friend’s motives are – are your intentions mutual/ no hidden agenda
  • We all have flaws – but are you able to rise above them; tolerate them
  • Are you making genuine friendship or gathering a crowd
  • One friend can change your life – for better or for worse
  • Quality over quantity
  • An acquaintance does not equate  a friend

Social needs, are real needs. I use to underestimate and undervalue the benefit which a wholesome relationship can bring. True friendship should be celebrated and appreciated a lot more.

You might be wondering why this is even relevant to personal development. The friends you entertain will shape you and ideally vice versa too. who you keep around you tells a lot about you so choose wisely.

Not only do I read and respond to every comment, but it leaves a smile on my face.

Let’s make incredible things…

Please follow and like us:
error

The Most Important Lesson I learnt in my 20’s which completely changed my life

Disclaimer: this post contains affiliate links

You may have been directed to this post from various platforms. Perhaps you stumbled here and got reading more and more. But the common reasons for your sudden entrance into this blog post may be as follows…

  1. you’re no longer 20 and wonder what you may have missed in your 20’s
  2. You didn’t learn any lessons in your 20’s, therefore you wish to embrace and appropriate my life lesson for yourself (that’s okay)
  3. You’re in your 20’s so you’re just hoping for a cheat sheet
  4. You know me personally so you’re reading to see how accurate my account of events really are

In short, you’re just incredibly smart and decided what I wrote is worth reading.

Disclaimer: I am still in my 20’s

Let me sit down and tell you my 20’s are full of eventful anecdotes. I’m not the type to go into details but all I will say is – it’s a miracle I made it to 28. I am not talking about a life-threatening condition which led me to a near-death experience. It’s really not that tragic. It’s more like depression and the feeling that my life would never amount to anything. Some would say that can resemble a near-death experience.

“Death is lack or absence of vision”

Basically, I found myself in a very bad state.

I was now aware that whatever I do now will alter the course of my life. The decision I would make could break or make me.

I knew I was responsible for where I wanted my life to go, however, I knew I didn’t have enough information to bring about my desired change – which was to live.

Knowing all of this, what can I do? and what did I do?

I did what a twenty-something-year-old would do, and occasionally get high on booze (cider + ginger ale) and sleep it off hoping tomorrow will be better than yesterday. I avoided my Pastor at the time,  I believed he simply didn’t understand my predicament.

Months passed.

I slowly realised that I could no longer just hope for things to get better. I thought I had a plan. So I started changing some of my habits

  • I ate healthily
  • I started running
  • I became committed to the church

But none of the above filled the emptiness inside of me. I was still depressed and with no sense of direction. One thing which I did know is that I didn’t know what I wanted. I wanted to live but what does that really mean to me. And that’s when things started to come together beautifully.

Two important questions I now knew needed an imperative answer in order to move me on in life.

  • Why?
  • Asking why eventually lead to what? and how?

I challenge you to answer these question for yourselves. Ask yourself why?

Don’t get stuck in a vicious circle. Instead, I challenge you to ask, “why am I not making progress? Why am I feeling this way? why am I unable to change? Why am I not living my dreams? Why am I stuck in a 9-5?

As a result of asking why I found the answers which troubled my mind for so long.

The answer to the questions above and among many others I had was the same: A strong desire. I later on in life got acquainted with the book ‘The Power of Your Mind’ which goes into details about the subject of strong desire.

I lacked motivation, I lacked the willingness to truly change things around. I found out that whenever I made up my mind – things changed and I would no longer stay in that dyer place of stagnation – I found myself making progress. I got uncomfortable with the idea of not enjoying life. I got tired of being tired. The key is a ‘strong desire’ – it will propel you to your desired dreams.

Remember this as  you assess your own personal life:

  1. You can achieve anything with a strong desire
  2. A strong desire can only come from You

Do you want to live? Do you want to live the life you always dreamed of? Do you want financial freedom? Do you want to make friends? Do you want to marry and find Mr/Mrs RIGHT?

Harness a strong desire, consciously decide that you had enough with the former way of life. You will know when you get there – like when you want to travel to destination x – you find a strong desire. You wake up, you decide your mode of transportation – okay you decide to drive- so you get in your car – you then start the car – you get it in the right gear – you engage – and you drive. moments later you arrive. Life is no different- however, you may need to magnify things. As a strong desire is built in your mind.

Not only do I read and respond to every comment, but it leaves a smile on my face.

Let’s make incredible things…

Please follow and like us:
error

10 ways I invest in myself for success

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links

Investing in you is one of the most important things you can ever do for yourself. It is also one of the most profitable investments you can ever make. Adding value to yourself makes you indispensable, relevant, attractive and most importantly knowledgeable.

So here are my tips on different ways you can invest in yourself. These are things I do on regular basis guys. Investing in you is a long-term commitment, finding the right resources for yourself will go a long way in yielding permanent and lasting results in all endeavours of your life.

1. Find what you’re good at – Become real good at it

 Author/speaker Josh Kaufman has a really interesting TED video about learning any skills in 20 hours or less, he goes into more details in his book ‘The first 20 hours: How to learn anything … Fast.’  It’s interesting how we can be so good at something but never fulfil our full potential of fully grasping our area of interest.

Find what you’re good at and become an expert at it. We are full of talent and gifts, well some of them are your special craft. It’s that thing you are supposed to do – that gift which you share with the world – that passion which you can no longer hide. Harness that gift, invest in it, keep gaining knowledge and bless the world with it. One day you’ll be telling the world the story on how you became the best at…

2. Read a Book

Be so good they can’t ignore you.’

Becoming an expert in your field.  People go astray when they lack knowledge. People are more perceptible to make mistake when they are misinformed. Make it habit to read more. Buy books, read articles which will not only enrich your specific area of interest but also read to broaden your knowledge horizon. I am trying to make a habit of reading a book a week. Now, I can’t say I am there yet but once you set yourself a target you are halfway there, it’s just a matter of reviewing your goal to see if it has been met –  and if not then find out why and make an adjustment and persevere.

3. Go on a course

Face to face or interactive course are a great way to be taught as you can have the opportunity to network and apprehend much-required knowledge on a particular subject. I have attended webinar/conference that has propelled me to a higher level in my business and personal life. ‘Made incredible’ was established as a result of many courses. Yes, I had a vision but you require knowledge to fulfil the visions and dreams you may have. Nothing good really comes cheap guys, I know there is tons of free material you can find online but in-depth knowledge and expertise are often required and it doesn’t always come cheap. When I started one of my blogs years ago, I relied on free tools for the most part which was convenient at the time but it also came with so many limitations and problems. There are things you will have to pay for, but no matter what your budget is, be assured that with the right research you will find a course appropriate for yourself.

4. Back to School

Going to university is by far one of my greatest achievement. It took time and money but I can now say it was worth it. University may not be the right path for you. Your aspiration may require a different academic path. Nevertheless going back to school or acquiring certified accreditation can be beneficial to attain the desired career or to enter a specific field of business.

5. Get a mentor

If you ask me, I believe everyone should have a mentor. And unknowingly you may already have subscribed to a life mentor. There are leaders and there are followers but know that every leader is still a follower. We all need direction and guidance. It doesn’t mean we are incompetent or inadequate in living our lives but there are things which we may not see unless shown, they are paths we ought to take in order to progress. Mentoring is indispensable if you want to be the best. I love what Bob Proctor said about mentoring:

“A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you, than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you”

Bob Proctor

6. Podcast

I got introduced to podcasts about seven years ago.What really got me hooked on listening to podcasts is the fact that you can listen to them anywhere. Learning while on the go. I also find them very personal, almost like they are talking to you alone (okay a bit weird). If you’re not bookworm and but love learning, well, you’ve found a new way to still acquire knowledge. The cool thing about the podcast is that there are genre and niche for everyone. Whether it’s Science, sports or health there is bound to be a subject to keep you listening.

7. work experience

Have you ever been in a situation where you are qualified for a job but simply have not got practical experience?  I am sure everyone has been in this situation at least once in there lifetime. Well, it’s fair to say that if you were in an employers shoes, sometimes you just need someone that can not only do the job but has done the job enough time not to screw it up. sometimes you just have to accept that you need to get more experience in your field. If you don’t get the job because of lack of experience, don’t beat yourself too hard, just find someone who is willing to give you the opportunity to acquire the experience you need to move up.

8. Eat, sleep, move

Eat better, sleep well and move more. I am still working on all of them but I have learned that you can not neglect any of them. Soon enough they will catch up with you so we might as well keep them in check. Find a diet regiment which is right for you. Now, that may take some trial and error, but that’s okay just try and understand your body’s dietary  needs early rather than later because prevention is better than cure.

Sleep is one of those areas which I still have to work on, especially when you have not got full control of it (i.e Kids) Still achievable though.

Notice I said move’ and not exercise. The ‘E’ word is taboo in my house, but I am getting a little bit more comfortable with it. I won’t pretend that I like exercising but I can’t deny its benefit and importance. I keep my exercises very basic, I walk a lot -which helps, I also invested in ankle weights a couple of years ago which I wear regularly either at home or under baggy trousers. I also use then as resistance tools when squatting or doing other home exercises.

9. Honour your parents

You want to live longer, here is the key. There is something amazing about this law. Just observe the lives of those who honour their parents, pay respect to their elders and acknowledge authority, they make tremendous progress. If you have a broken relationship with your parents try and mend it as soon as possible. It is a sensitive subject because some may not have parents. There is always an opportunity to do the right things until you do nothing and the opportunity is gone.

Appreciate those that came before. Give honour to who its due. No only will it give you a good feel, but most importantly you are laying foundation by practising appreciation.

10. Change your mindset

Your thoughts affect what you believe in and what you believe in affects your confession and your confession controls the direction in which your life goes. What you let in your mind is crucial. The person you become, the quality of life you will live. Nothing happens by chance and if you think whatever will be will be then you need to get educated on the power of your mind.

Call to action

No matter what you do, do it consistently and diligently.  Remember that with the right action change will come, and your investment will yields results.

 

Let’s make incredible things…

Please follow and like us:
error

Incredible You

 

The first blog post is without a doubt the most awkward post. Not because I am lacking things to say, on the contrary. It’s just that it goes without saying that anyone in their right mind would want to come across polished and knowledgeable. But all feelings aside, I have finally got my act together and started blogging again. I have been blogging on and off since 2009/2010. So this is no longer an attempt to put something half decent on the net and walk away. This is what I have chosen to do full time. So expect great things from now on.

I think I should start by introducing myself… My name is Joy-Rose and welcome to ‘Made Incredible’.

The aim of this blog is to inspire, educate and encourage everyone to invest in themselves, awaken them to their incredible talents, gifts and uncountable possibilities which lies in all of us. This blog aims to ultimately showcase the ‘I can do it mentality.’ I believe that with a strong desire and a ready mindset anything is possible. It has taken me a while to get where I am, but along my journey, I have observed that success is more apparent than one may have you believe.

Although I bring you a very personal perspective on different subjects, this blog is all about everything incredible with an emphasis on personal development. Now, there are only so many things I can write about myself before it becomes a little too repetitive so don’t expect a full-on exposé about what I get up to on a Sunday afternoon or what I eat in a day kind of post (l0l) but believe me I hate boring content too, so I’ll try to keep things a bit interesting and indulging (hmm).

There is always something new to learn and as much as I want to impact others, this blog has a tremendous impact on me too. So let’s not waste any more time and let’s make incredible things!!

Get to know more about ‘Made Incredible’ on the About page. Don’t forget to follow, share and comment, I try to reply to every comment in a timely manner.

 

Please follow and like us:
error