‘People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely’
Hans F Hansen
I had an amazing opportunity for promotion during my university years and my mentor realised that there were too many people or so-called ‘friends’ in the way of my promotion. I was in total denial and I didn’t want to end up friendless.
I eventually saw the writing on the wall and I slowly planned my escape. I had clingy friends who held on to me like leeches. (not jokes). So for me, it was more like a grand escape kind of scheme rather than ‘you’re fired’ kind of scenario. In hindsight, I am just glad I got out while I still could.
Now, it may seem like I was the type to let anybody in my circle. Well, you are completely correct. Anyone who seemed nice enough and not self-centred or proud was my idea of true friendship. I didn’t make many friends growing up as my upbringing was a little strict. My siblings and I were always cautioned and advised to pick sensible friends (boring kind of friends). At least some of us listened and that’s how I never really carried friends along.
Learning how to distinguish from the good, the bad and the ugly was a learning curve. Unfortunately, the experience was rather traumatic and I must admit that I learnt my lesson the hard way – TRIAL AND ERROR.
I carefully made a list of things to consider in your true friendship
- Consider your character, values and principles – what do you value most about yourself which you would also appreciate in others
- Find what a potential friend’s motives are – are your intentions mutual/ no hidden agenda
- We all have flaws – but are you able to rise above them; tolerate them
- Are you making genuine friendship or gathering a crowd
- One friend can change your life – for better or for worse
- Quality over quantity
- An acquaintance does not equate a friend
Social needs, are real needs. I use to underestimate and undervalue the benefit which a wholesome relationship can bring. True friendship should be celebrated and appreciated a lot more.
You might be wondering why this is even relevant to personal development. The friends you entertain will shape you and ideally vice versa too. who you keep around you tells a lot about you so choose wisely.
Not only do I read and respond to every comment, but it leaves a smile on my face.
Let’s make incredible things…