I was in denial for most of my adult life about my addictions. It’s not really something which people want to talk about I guess.
But I know that what I went through is similar to a lot of things most of us go through.
Addiction is a stigma, a taboo, and something to be ashamed of in all societies. No matter where you’re from, having an addiction makes you an outcast. So, identifying as an addict is a little bit controversial in my mind.
I believe we all have some degrees of addiction and that’s why I needed to write this post. I also wanted to share my story because I have seen the epidemic which is going on around the world about the increased use of narcotics.
I was going through a rough patch in life and I found myself doing ‘drugs’ (not really drugs but that’s what I am going to call it for now). It was a habit which slowly became hard to break and with time, it became the norm.
I eventually sorted the problems that caused the downward spiral which made me to self-soothe with ‘drugs.’ But my recovery was very strange and uncommon. What I’ve learnt from my recovery is that we don’t know enough about addiction and what it takes to overcome them.
A few years passed before I realised that my addiction had just disappeared. I had no impulse or desire to use ‘drugs’ any more. Just like magic, I was free from an addiction which probably lasted about 13 years.
It made me question what had happened and whether I had an addiction in the first place. I came to the knowledge that I had unknowingly placed myself in rehab.
What people need to realise, is that when you have an addiction you may not like the use of whichever substance or habit you are drawn to, but you probably have no willpower to consciously stop your toxic consumption or habits.
But what happened to me is that I found a deeper connection in something greater. And that’s what a lot of people are lacking, greater connections.
Most are unaware that there are unknown addictions too. The ones which society would not label as toxic but with time ‘these things’ consume you and make you numb the pain, the dissatisfaction of the moment, the failures of yesterday, and all the things which you wish would just be okay.
Shopping, gambling, Twitter, binging on unhealthy foods. These can become an addiction too. Some have become so drawn to modern day addiction, you would be surprised that it will soon become an even a bigger problem.
However, I don’t think there is a lesser drug, because, at the end of the day, they all destroy you in the process. Some destroy faster and others appear to have no side effect at all. But how wrong our we to assume some ‘narcotics’ don’t have side effects. Because you can’t see the damage doesn’t mean it isn’t there. And the thing with ‘drugs’ is that it also affects those who are around you. The whole human chain is affected. Some people are touched directly and some may never feel the effect until years later.
I found the remedy for my addiction without looking for it. I didn’t intend to stop using drugs although I knew the negative effect massively outweighed the good effect. I found myself in at a crossroad and that’s when I would pinpoint as ‘the turning point,’ But I only just recently realise that I had the total transformation.
So what did I do which drastically changed my old habits? Well, I moved away. I had no plans on moving away. But the change of environment was the catalyst for the new me.
I found myself with a different kind of people. In a different crowd. It’s not so much the people but also their mindset. I had a strong desire already welling up within me for a change. So when the change came it also contaminated other areas which I had no hope for, areas which obviously needed to change, i.e my addictions.
But like I said, finding a deeper connection in people, in life, in work, in God is what changed things for me. We live in a world that gets more and more lonely. I used to be able to count the number of friends I had with my ten fingers, I’d be incredibly lucky if my circle of friends even reached number 5.
So for me, the urge to do drugs wasn’t there anymore. No desire to get high, and hear this… No withdrawal syndrome. When I think about it, it makes me want to pinch myself, because if you have any compulsive behaviour you will understand how hard it is to stop doing a particular thing.
But in my case, I didn’t work for it. God took care of it in a supernatural way. He moved me on from all the triggering factors. The frustration which automatically made me feel inadequate and worthless were gone. The stagnation of life came to an end and so did my addiction. Answering all the why’s in your life goes a long way in getting the rehab effect on your addictions.
Just know that no matter your addiction, you can overcome it. Find yourself someone who really cares, someone who won’t let you down, no matter how long your recovery journey takes.
A very special video will soon follow this post.
I know a lot of people are wondering, so what is your addiction? My addiction was a success. I was so addicted to experience, feel and live a so-called successful life that it all spiralled out of control. This addiction made me take an irrational decision. It stole my joy and my self-esteem.
And many would never call this an addiction. But compulsive behaviour, self-damaging habits is a problem. So call it what you want, it still needs addressing.
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